


I learned That in Therapy

by Shareece (kimbob)



Series: Desire Series [7]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Denial, Desire, F/M, Jaime is in love, Margaery tells it like it is, Romance, Smut, Some angst, its a disaster
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-23
Updated: 2015-09-23
Packaged: 2018-04-22 23:58:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4855565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kimbob/pseuds/Shareece
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She woke up alone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I learned That in Therapy

**Author's Note:**

> Thank again for all of the kudos. sorry for the very long wait. real life and all that jazz. hope you enjoy!

She woke up alone.

Brienne rolled onto her back and stared up at her ceiling, the broken pieces of mirror reflecting her sad gaze. She felt odd waking up alone again after months full of nights spent with Jaime. Perhaps once you spent the night with Jaime Lannister, you’re never the same again.

She rolled her eyes. Gods she was starting to sound like him. She blinked and two fat tears rolled down the side of her temples. She angrily wiped them away. She thought she’d been through with crying; had promised herself that she wouldn’t do something so useless, but last night-She sighed and sat up.

“Stupid sexy Jaime,” She muttered to herself.

88

_She was avoiding Jaime._

_It was easier that way than dealing with the fall back of his….his admitting that he loved her. Brienne frowned at her computer monitor. Did he love her? How could he? How could he proclaim such a ridiculous thing? She shook her head and continued typing up her report. She had been avoiding him for two weeks now. Which would've been quite the feat considering they worked together, but she had lucked out because Jaime had a developing project that required him to be onsite for the past two weeks._

_She always made sure she never stayed more than the seven hours required of her, quickly leaving the building as soon as the clock struck five. Like now, for instance, the time on her wall clock read four fifty-eight just as she was e-mailing Tyrion his schedule for tomorrow. She hit send and quickly grabbed her things as she stood up. She had a train and a bus to catch into cobbler’s square. She hurried past Jaime’s empty office, ignoring the way her heart gave a pathetic double thump._

_An hour later she was hurrying into the Art Annex to teach her watercolor class. “Evening everyone,” She said as she slipped out of her coat. She smiled as her class greeted her back. She reached for her canvas. “Today I’d like to start with some blending.” She turned to face her class, and her eyes widened in shock as she spotted Jaime sitting on a stool in the back of her class a small smirk on his face._

_888_

_“_ What’s wrong?” Margaery said as Brienne sat across from her looking worse for wear.

Brienne shook her head. “I haven’t—there is nothing wrong.” She picked up her menu. “Let’s just order.”

Margaery plucked the menu from her fingers and set it aside. “What’s wrong?”

Brienne closed her eyes as she ran a hand down the side of her face. “Jaime—said he was in love with me.”

Margaery’s eyes widened as she grinned. “Oh! Well, that’s wonderful.” She frowned when Brienne didn’t seem excited. “It is wonderful isn’t it?”

Brienne shook her head sadly. “No. No, it’s not.”

Margaery could guess why Brienne felt this way, and she wasn’t surprised by her best friend’s reaction, but finding love after such heartbreak should be a wonderful thing; amazing even. “Brienne. You’re my best friend. I love you, but I just don’t agree with you.”

Brienne shook her head. Why was it so difficult to understand? “You don’t understand.”

_888_

_Brienne stood frozen for a few moments as her brain quickly cataloged how good Jaime looked. Her eyes scanned him from head to toe, noting the navy blue jumper he wore down to the glasses he usually wore when his eyes were tired. Gods why? Why did he always have to look so good? Brienne could feel that familiar burning desire start low in her belly._

_“Brienne?” One of her students called. “Are we going to begin?”_

_She blinked and nodded numbly. She turned to face her canvas and took a deep breath. She felt a calm sweep over her as she reached for her palette and brush. She wouldn’t let Jaime’s appearance in her class distract her from her work. She will just treat him like any other student._

_Even if she felt the urge and desire to jump his bones._

_88_

_“Remember there is no right or wrong when it comes to color blending,” Brienne said as she moved to survey her students’ work. “Very beautiful Jessica. Wonderful colors Thomas.”_

_She moved to the next row, stopping in front of Jaime’s painting. He was on his best behavior, and she was glad for it. She didn’t think she could take it if he’d decided to flirt outwardly with her in front of the other students. She could feel his piercing gaze on her as she looked at his painting. He had painted Blackwater Bay with the sun setting in the background. The blues, purples, reds and oranges all blending with each other perfectly. “It’s beautiful,” She said, and he gave her a pleased smile._

_“Thank you, Brienne,” He said, placing his brush down._

_She briefly returned his smile and turned away, wondering why the simple way he said her name made her tremble inside. “We can end here for tonight. You all did wonderful work. I’ll see you next week.”_

_There was a cacophony of students talking and gathering their supplies as she collected the used brushes to place them into the sink for soaking. She placed the last of the brushes in the sink, knowing when she turned Jaime would still be there. She switched the water off with a sigh._

_“Brienne-“_

_“What are you doing here?” She asked turning to face him._

_“I haven’t seen you two weeks,” He said with a small shrug. “Which is quite odd considering we work together.”_

_She felt herself flush. “You’ve been on the site.”_

_Jaime shrugged again. “That hasn’t stopped either one of us from having contact before.” He stepped closer when she turned away from him again. “I’d thought to give you space, but I-I wanted to see you.”_

_Brienne felt sudden guilt from his words. She didn’t know what to say to that. She didn’t know what to say at all. She tensed as she felt a hand suddenly land on her hip. The familiar heat that followed from his simple touch bowled her nearly over. How was that possible? She reached down and placed her hand over his own with intending to remove it, but failing to do so. . “Jaime-“_

_“Let me drive you home?” He asked, his thumb stroking her hip. “It’s too cold for public transportation.”_

_She snorted as she turned to face him. “Really?”_

_He looked at her with an amused glint in his eyes. “What kind of a person would I be if I didn’t offer you a ride?”_

_Brienne rolled her eyes at him, noting he still had his hand on her hip that was a serious distraction. Her brain shouted no at her. It was a bad idea, but a simple hand on her hip was making her heart race. “Just a ride,” She said, immediately regretting her choice of word usage._

_Jaime slowly grinned as his green eyes gleamed. He held his hand up. “Just a ride.”_

_8_

_What was she doing?_

_Jaime sang softly along with the radio as he easily navigated through the city’s traffic. She chanced a glance at him, just in time to catch his gaze as he turned his head to glance at her. She swallowed and quickly looked away as he gave her a soft smile._

_Again she felt her insides tremble._

_She tried to focus on the passing scenery to calm down; it wasn’t working. Jaime was still singing softly along with the radio, and the sound of his voice was honestly slowly undoing her which made her feel even more pathetic._

_“Oh look a spot right out front. How unusual.” Jaime said as he pulled up next to the curb. He shut the car off and turned to face her._

_Brienne sighed. “Jaime-“_

_“I know.” He cut in with a nervous laugh. “I promised just a ride.” He turned away from her._

_Why was this so painful? The thought of sending Jaime away made her stomach churn with dread. “Jaime..” She trailed off again as he turned to face her, his expression hopeful. She opened her mouth to bid him goodnight, but instead the words would you like to come inside fell from her lips._

_88_

_As soon as she said yes the veil of patience Jaime showed quickly disappeared. He practically dragged her up into her apartment building and up the one flight of stairs. He crowded against her as she tried to unlock her door, gently kissing her neck in between words of how much he wanted her. She shivered as he pushed the door open and placed his hand on her lower back. They both stepped inside and Brienne turned, taking her coat off just as the Jaime slammed the door closed. She watched as he took his coat off and tossed it onto the couch before moving toward her. Feeling like prey, she stepped back gasping surprise as he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her in for a kiss._

_Brienne groaned hungrily, wrapping her hands around his face and pulling him close. She couldn’t help the sounds that emanated from her throat as he kissed her roughly, thrusting his tongue against her own. She pulled away first, panting for breath as she met his gaze. She could feel his hardness pressed up against her stomach; his hands squeezed her ass obscenely. “Hi.” She said quietly, and he slowly grinned._

_“Hi.” Jaime greeted back. His hands moved from her ass, up her back, and down her sides. “I’ve fucking missed you.” His grin widened as he watched her face flush. “Oh, I’ve missed that.” His hands quickly went to work, unzipping the back of her pencil skirt; he let it fall to the floor. Her blouse went next as he tossed it over his shoulder. He shuffled her back toward her dinner table until the back of her legs hit the edge. “I can’t wait to fuck you.”_

_It was like flicking a light switch. Her body's reaction to his words. The deepened flush. Her mind...her thoughts...she missed him too. So much, but she couldn't say the words. She couldn’t. “Here?” She asked, her voice edging on desperate. She didn’t care. She felt desperate; desperate to feel the pleasure of him inside of her._

_“Fuck yes,” He said as he unhooked her bra. He helped her slip it down her arms, and she shivered as the cool air touched her nipples. Jaime reached up, fingertips caressing her nipples. She trembled as his hand followed the growing flush down her stomach. He leaned down and tongued an already erect nipple before leaning up for another bruising kiss._

_His fingers hooked into the elastic of her pretty blue underwear, pulling them down and tossing them aside. “Fuck.” He breathed as he stepped back to get a better look at her. “Do you even know how good you look right now?”_

_Brienne’s heart pounded and instead of answering she reached for him, moaning as his fingers suddenly found her clit. He massaged her expertly, touching her the way she liked. His other hand wrapped around her hair as he pulled her in for a kiss. Her fingers fumbled with the button and zipper of his pants; she quickly shoved them down his legs, grasping her cock and pulling him closer so he could slip inside._

_“Fuck.” He groaned as he easily slipped inside. Her long legs wrapped themselves around his waist as her cunt squeezed around him. “Fuck, blue eyes!” He pulled her closer, fucking her hard and deep. “You’re fucking amazing.” He panted heavily. “I’ve been thinking about this all week.”_

_‘Me too.’ She thought to herself, but could not bring herself to say the words. She could wrap her arms around him and hold him close._

_88_  
_There was something about Jaime that turned Brienne into an insatiable creature._

_“Come up here.” Jaime coaxed, pulling her, so she straddled his chest._

_Brienne, flushing a deep red from his request, shook head. “No.”_

_Jaime kissed her hands as he smiled. “Come on. Just try it.”_

_“Jaime-just-I’ll crush you.” Still, as she said the words she continued to crawl up his body. Jaime licked his lips as her cunt hovered over his hungry mouth, she slowly sank, immediately groaning as his tongue slid inside of her. She didn’t bother holding in her cries of pleasure; rolled her hips gently against his mouth as his tongue lapped up the wetness she offered. His hands squeezed the cheeks of her ass and groaned, the sound sending shockwaves of vibration through her cunt._

_“Jaime!” she cried out, gripping his hair as his lips closed around her clit. She rolled her hips harder as spasms wracked her body, clamping her thighs shut as he sucked on her sensitive clit one last time. She could feel his hands trying to pry her thighs apart and she glance down. She slid off of his face and onto his chest, smiling down at him sheepishly._

_His chin, lips, and cheeks were glistening with her release. He smiled as he wiped his face with the back of his hand. “I told you,” He said. “I’m still breathing.”_

_“Just barely,” Brienne said as she watched the quick rise and fall of his chest. She sighed as his hands slowly moved up her sides, meeting his heated gaze with one of her own. She gasped when he suddenly rolled over._

_His hungry eyes stared down at her as he settled himself between her legs. She caressed her fingers through his hair, down his neck, and down his back. There had been very few words between the two of them save for utterances of passion as they reacquainted themselves with each other’s bodies._

_Jaime kissed her throat, gasping out a quiet ‘fuck’ as she reached down and grasped his cock. She guided him inside her, wrapping her arms around his neck as he began to move. He caught her moan inside his mouth as he thrust inside of her with a pace that made Brienne sure they both wouldn’t last long._

_“You’re so fucking wet,” Jaime whispered, kissing her cheek, lips, and chin. She was; embarrassingly so, but she couldn’t care. All she could do was hold on and wait for it to come. Jaime pulled away from her and sat up on his knees. He wrapped his hands around her waist and lifted her hips, thrusting his cock even deeper. “Fuck!” he groaned from the angle change._

_She placed her feet flat on the mattress and lifted her hips against his thrusts. She cried out, her hands grasping his hands, the headboard, the bedding; anything she can hold onto as he brushed a single finger against her clit. “Jaime!” She cried out as she came, Jaime following quickly behind her._

_Jaime collapsed next to her, panting for breath. She turned onto her side, putting her back to him. She tensed as he wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her closer. “I love you.” He kissed her cheek._

_“Don’t say that,” Brienne muttered._

_“Why not?” He laughed._

_She slid onto her back, catching his gaze. “Because you can’t-You don’t feel that way about me.”_

_He frowned down at her. “I think I know how I feel blue eyes.” He tilted his head._

_She turned away from him. “I don’t want to talk about this.”_

_“Oh no.” He gently grasped her chin and turned her head, so she was facing him again. “I’ve been pretty patient with you Brienne. I’m not asking you to declare your love for me if you aren’t ready, but the least you could do is talk to me about it.”_

_Brienne stayed stubbornly quiet. Jaime’s eyes gleamed with frustration._

_“Can you honestly say you feel nothing for me?” He shook his head when she didn’t answer “Brienne?” He sounded desperate. “Brienne?”_

_“I don’t need any complications.” She said after a long moment. She spoke the words softly; carefully. She watched as obvious pain flashed across Jaime’s features. She briefly closed her eyes, regret and guilt from her words immediate._

_“Complications?” He asked. “I’m a complication?” Jaime shook his head as he lied back against the pillows, muttering to himself._

_Brienne frowned at him as he suddenly began to laugh. “What are you-“ She trailed off as he suddenly slipped out of bed naked._

_He reached for his boxers. “I may be a lot of things Brienne, but a complication is not one of them.” He pulled his boxers up then reached for his pants._

_Brienne sat up, holding the sheet protectively in front of her. “For me you are,” She said, and he shook his head again._

_“Bullshit.” He stepped into his pants and pulled them up angrily. “That’s complete fucking bullshit.” He glared at her. “I don’t know who hurt you, but you’re being completely—I never took you for a coward.” He reached for his undershirt and sweater._

_“I’m not coward,” She argued._

_His glare hardened. “You are the very definition Brienne.” He pulled his sweater down with jerky movements. “You can keep lying to yourself if you’d like Brienne, but I’m not going to stick around while you do.”_

_Brienne watched as he put on the rest of his clothing. ‘Don’t go.’ She thought to herself. ‘Stay.’ She forced the words back down her throat and bit her lip as he turned to face her, now fully dressed._

_“Everyone deserves love Brienne. Everyone. Everyone deserves to love and to have love in return. I learned that in therapy.”_

_Brienne watched him go, forcing back tears she felt threatening to fall._  
888

“So you just let him leave?” Margaery asked with a shake of her head. “I can’t believe you.”

“What was I supposed to do?” Brienne asked.

“You could’ve asked him to stay!” Margaery answered. “You could have told him how you feel.”

“I don’t even know how I feel.” Brienne muttered.

Margaery pursed her lips as she stared at Brienne with disappointment in her eyes. “"Brienne these past few months, you've been happy haven't you?

“I was,” She answered, and Margaery nodded.

“And now you’re not, which makes no sense.” She sighed. “Brienne I know you’re afraid of being hurt again, but do you think you could stop being such a big baby about it?”

Brienne gasped. “Hey!”

Margaery held her hands up. “I’m sorry, but not really. Brienne you’re one of the strongest women I know and I’m not invalidating your feelings, but it’s time to let the past go. It’s okay to let another person love you, but by not allowing yourself to be happy you’re letting Hyle win all over again.”

Brienne was silent for a long moment, a myriad of emotions flickering across her features. “I’m scared,” She whispered.

Margaery reached her hand. “It’s okay to be scared. But you’ll always be unhappy if you don’t take the risk.”


End file.
